My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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