Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
