Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
