I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
