You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
