He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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