Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
