I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
