Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
