i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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