Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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