So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
