If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
