Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
