so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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