I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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