Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
