the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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