I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
