I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
babies were throwing up all over the place
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
