Plan B is the new Plan A
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
