Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize