So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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