Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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