i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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