I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
