I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
