Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
