i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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