put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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