It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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