And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
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the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
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Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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