I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
