ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
