I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
