This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
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it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize