He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
