escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
