Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize