I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
