dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
