careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I can't put those talents on a resume
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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