I seem to have left my pride at pride
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
