i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
