So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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