I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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