this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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