I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize