Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
