Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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