is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Randomize
