Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
