Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
