We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
