You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
