My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
