ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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