she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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