i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
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